The Quiet Call to Begin, Again...
Lately, I’ve been feeling this ache I can’t really explain—a mix of being tired and wanting more, like life has been passing me by while I just stand and watch. I feel this strong need to take my life back, to stop just going through the motions and actually live again.
For a while now, I’ve kept myself busy—doing things, ticking off tasks, keeping distracted. But even with all that, I can’t shake the feeling that a part of me is stuck, like I’m just existing. The days are full, but they don’t feel meaningful. I want to feel alive again—to wake up and actually care about what I’m doing, to feel like my life is mine, not just something I’m trying to get through. At the very least i’d like to remember my day when I come to the end of it.
I miss the version of me who had dreams and the energy to chase them. I miss feeling connected—to life, to people, and even to myself. And I want to do something that matters. I want to honor the person I’ve lost, to keep his memory alive in ways that go beyond just thinking of him. He deserves so much more than quiet sadness. I want to build something, create something - in his honor - something I know he’d look at and be proud of.
But here’s the hard part: for every moment I feel this urgency to take my life back, I feel just as stuck. I wake up some days knowing I need to start something, or go back to the building blocks of the foundations i’ve already laid but the energy’s just not there. The ideas aren’t clear. The drive I used to have feels so far away. I know I want more, but I don’t know how to get there.
It’s like I’m caught in this weird in-between—wanting so badly to move forward, but feeling like I can’t. Like I’m pushing and pulling at the same time and getting nowhere.
Still, there’s this tiny glimmer of hope. It’s faint, but it’s there. It reminds me that maybe I don’t have to have everything figured out right now. That maybe starting over doesn’t mean knowing all the answers. Maybe it’s just about taking one small step—just one—toward the kind of life I want.
Have you ever felt like this? Like you’re stuck, but at the same time desperate to break free? What helps you move forward when it feels like everything’s weighing you down? Truly I would like to know.
Maybe we can figure it out together…
When, i gets overwhelmed and weigh down, I rely on the strength of my friends and the community of Good relationship's I've build along the way, and they always find a way of helping.
I really really hate the feeling of being stuck. When I feel this way, I go back to the basics. I take a walk and think about the easiest route to getting where I want to go. The next step is often pretty logical, I find I'm often just distracted by too many obligations and activities that don't help me get where I want to go. I then cut these out ruthlessly. This gives my brain and my heart room to create and get excited again. I think a lot of living a great life is just constantly getting rid of the clutter.